xtremeroswellia

For the past couple years, since I started working at Dove, Inc., in fact, I haven't been writing from the heart.

Allow me to explain.

A few weeks ago I ordered a CD set that was a discussion on writing between Julia Cameron and Natalie Goldberg. One of the things they talked about was that so many writers anymore solely rely on the computer to do their writing. However, they both handwrote everything before typing it up.

This struck me as interesting because that's how I used to write *everything.* I would sit at my old job (as a secretary) and write stories by hand for hours on end. I never seemed to hit writer's block, and it felt like honest writing.

The last two and a half years, I've relied solely on the computer to write stories. Other than when I'm co-authoring with someone, I feel very disconnected from the words. Like everything I've written has somehow been dishonest and fake. It's not been a good feeling.

Yesterday I went to Panera Bread and camped out at a table for three hours with a notebook and pen. I wrote a brief tribute piece about my grandmother, and a fanfic--that was slightly over ten pages handwritten. I don't think my pen paused writing either until I knew they were finished. And I feel good about what I'd written. I connected with the writing in a way I hadn't in a very long time and that was an incredible feeling.

The words flowed more easily, and both the tribute and the fanfic were laced with emotion and passion that I'd thought I'd lost for writing as a craft.

So I guess what I'm saying is...much as I love the computer...there is something magical about a pen and notebook. Yeah, it's twice the work because you have to handwrite it and then type it up...but it is worth the effort. I think I slept better last night than I have in quite awhile. It was more peaceful.

Except that dream about the deer. And that my friends, is a whole other story. O_O

Last night I dreamt a lot. I dreamt my cousin and I were going to take a roadtrip to Tennessee. But I was locked in the basement at work and couldn't get out. I tried escaping through the window and one of my co-workers caught me and told me I still had to make Jello dessert. 0_0 FYI--there is no basement at work. *scratches head* I also dreamt one of my old co-workers came back to retake over her position of secretary...and she had a white rat on her shoulder. Which I immediately bonded with being the rodent lover that I am.

And I dreamt I was following my aunt and my grandma around some neighborhood, up and down stairs and in and out of people's houses we didn't know and I was SO tired and I fell behind and lost them. And when I woke up I really missed my grandma.