Engendering Compassion

[xtremeroswellia]

I've begun reading Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I'm not reading it straight through. I'm jumping around--each chapter is written to stand alone. Today I read the chapter "Engendering Compassion."

In this, Goldberg talks about writing through your fear. One of her biggest fears is loneliness.

I sit here, still sick (with an upper resp. infection--again), wondering what my biggest fears are in life. Off the top of my head I can't actually name any. I'll have to meditate on this one for awhile.

In the meantime--what are your greatest fears? What one small thing can you do to begin facing them?

Comments

[rightxhere.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* I hope you're feeling heaps better soon, Angie!

That sounds like an interesting book.

In the meantime--what are your greatest fears? What one small thing can you do to begin facing them?

Rather than mention one I've got, I'll mention one I had. Barbed wire fences. I never liked walking near them in fear I would slip and cut my throat. I know it sounds kinda crazy, but it's true. I actually did cut my throat on one years prior, when I was like 7 years old. So of course I had this fear....and, one small thing I did to begin facing that irrational fear I'd developed, was to walk near them and replacing my fearful thoughts with new ones.

I've got one fear going on at the moment (you know which one it is, as you have it yourself as we were talking about it all yesterday), and it's not really one I'm up to even thinking about facing at the moment. Hence the mention of an old one that I've "cured" :)

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

*hugs you lots* One step at a time. ;) You'll face it when you're ready. You're amazingly strong, Sis.

My greatest fears?

[katelennon.livejournal.com]

That people won't like me and that I'll disappoint them and then have them look at me with the EYES OF FAILURE AND SAD UNDERSTANDING.

I have adopted a "If you don't like me, you are obviously not someone who I should spend my time begging to like me" attitude. It has lead to me speaking my mind much more freely (which my little sister feels has made me a more negative person. Huh.) and not being afraid to tell the group where *I* want to go for dinner.

The last one is totally my 1 small thing.

Re: My greatest fears?

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I think that's a good attitude to adopt actually. I'm not sure how you speaking your mind can be negative. O.o Unless you're like, slamming people's faces into things until they agree with you or something. :P Good for you for being assertive!

[candylandgal.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well. I hope that you feel better again in no time!

I think my greatest fear is helplessness, with failure a close second. And then there is people. Oy. I haven't figured out how to deal with the first two yet at all; I find myself feeling the first so much and so often that it overwhelms, but I fear that at some point it could up itself a notch until I really drown under it, you know?

I guess to say that I fear people is wrong because I love people---knowing them, listening to them, but I'll always fear what they think of me, judgment, disappointing them, doing something wrong be it little things or big ones---all of that good stuff. I try to push through and force interaction and vulnerability where I can, but it is mostly baby steps. One of the things that helps me more than anything is being a part of LJ communities dedicated to social anxiety and feeling so much less alone in the experience, hearing the wisdom and the success stories that others have to offer.

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks, Deb. ;)

I completely understand the fear of helplessness...it's one of my top fears, as well. There's SO many people and creatures that need help, and there's only so much one person can do. And it seems like it's never enough. *sigh*

Baby steps are good. I'm glad the LJ communities have made you feel less alone. *big hugs*

[tapati.livejournal.com]

My greatest fear is that I'll never see my grandsons and daughter again and that my son will also never speak to me. I've gotten somewhat used to the last after over a decade now but am bewildered by my daughter's silence. Other than that, I fear being a burden--no I feel that I already am a burden because of my illness(es). On a lighter note I am afraid of cockroaches and heights. I used to try to conquer the fear of heights by forcing myself to go on ferris wheels. That's where my fear started--my mom and I got stuck when one malfunctioned and I was up there for half an hour at age four. When I go on one, though, I end up squeezing my eyes shut and just enduring it, so I don't think it's working. I do however love heights if I'm enclosed behind glass or other barrier. I enjoy plane rides. I like the view. :)

I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do regarding my daughter's recent silence. I'm simply trying hard not to obsess.

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty big, and very understandable fear. I know how much this has been weighing on you and I really wish there was more I could do to help you--because you've helped me a great deal.

I'm not fond of heights either.

If you'd like...I'll send some healing, positive thoughts your way. :)

Thank you!

[tapati.livejournal.com]

I think it's something I have to work through in terms of cognitive therapy and grieving without letting it destroy my self esteem. Any thoughts/prayers or positive energy is greatly appreciated--perhaps even directed at her that she is able to work through whatever she's going through. I have the strong feeling that there is something I don't know that's going on.

[tim-80.livejournal.com]

My greatest fear is that I won't accomplish anything worthwhile in life.

I'm also afraid of heights, roller coasters, and I'm somewhat claustrophobic.

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

Tim...you've already accomplished a heck of a lot of worthwhile things in life. You're a wonderful friend, brother, son, uncle...people love and trust you, including me. *hugs*

Heights and claustrophobia--blech. Roller coasters didn't use to bother me, but I haven't been on one since I was like, 13, so I don't know if they would now or not.

[tim-80.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words. :) *hugs back*

[catvampcrazines.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... never growing from what I am... never becoming the greater and more learned person I yearn to be.

At the same time, I have a fear of the unknown... though that's gotten so much better over the years and I push past that because that first fear is what keeps me going.

An old fear was not knowing what I wanted to be (this was during high school), but I've long since realized that I'll grow into whatever it is that I'm destined to do. I've learned to not let that paralize me into thinking there is no future. That really was a big one during my teen years since I had no one to help me learn what to do or direct me towards something.


Anyways, now that I've randomly spilled out my guts, I will say that this sounds like a good book. Maybe I'll pick it up.

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

*nods* I know what you mean. *hugs*

And yeah, it's definitely a good book so far. ;)

Also...

[catvampcrazines.livejournal.com]

(Oi. *rolls eyes* Looking at me... all rambling on about myself when I should be saying...)

*squishes* I hope things get better soon, luv.

Re: Also...

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Thanks, hon.

[unstableharpy.livejournal.com]

I don't think I have a greatest fear in life. I'd hate to become ignorant and intolerant person who never did a thing to make this world better but I don't fear that.
Btw, how are your guinea-pigs? I just adopted baby chinchilla today :)
*hugs* I hope your feeling better.

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

I am feeling some better today, thanks. :) And the piggies are fine. Aww baby chinchilla! I want pics! Hee!