So what IS domestic violence?
Oct. 2nd, 2006 09:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xtremeroswelliaDomestic violence is a pattern of coercive control that one person excercises over another.
It is not limited to physical violence, but also includes verbal abuse, emotional abuse and economic abuse. It can be progressive social isolation, deprivation and intimidation. Remember that domestic violence is a power game; its purpose for the abuser is to control the victim in whatever form(s) it takes.
Physical abuse is the most well known type of domestic violence. It can include any or all of the following: pushing, punching, choking, burning, shooting, dragging, restraining, locking in the house, pushing or throwing down the stairs, kicking, poking, slapping, cutting, tripping, rapting, holding down, hair pulling, squeezing, suffocating, kidnapping, etc.
Verbal abuse is almost ALWAYS prevalent in any type of domestic violence situation. This includes name calling, yelling, making demeaning remarks, nagging, cussing, threatening, belittling, constant phone calls, actively undermining the victim's authority with children, telling her that she is a bad parent, that she can't control her kids, setting up so he can humiliate her in public or in front of family or friends.
Sexual abuse is very common in DV situations, but it is the aspect that my co-workers have found to be the least talked about by victims of DV. It includes the abuser making degrading sexual comments, forcing sex, assaulting breasts or genitals, forcing a partner to have sex with a third person, criticizing appearance, bragging about infidedlity, and forced cohabitation.
Emotional abuse is prevalent in just about every DV case. It includes making threats of violence, forcing a woman to do degrading things, controlling her activities, frightening her, or using her children or grandchildren as leverage against her, harming or killing a family pet, creating crisis, embarrasment, threatening to tell others about sexuality in the case of gay/lesbian victims.
Financial(economic) Abuse includes destroying property, prized possessions, a relative's property, taking the victim's money, denying her money, restricting access to household finances and witholding medical treatment, not allowing her to work or to attend school.
Neglect is an aspect of DV that comes more into play when children, elderly, or disabled people are the victims. This includes failing to do what a reasonable person should do under the circumstances, failure to provide food, shelter, clothing or personal hygiene to the victim; failure to take care of the needs of the person, and failure to protect the person from health and safety hazards.
Verbal abuse is almost always added to controlling behaviors. ITs purpose is to undermine the victim's independence, make her feel bad about herself, and get her to take responsibility for whatever is wrong.
Controlling behavior: Often there is a long period of controlling behavior that begins with dating relationships and is intiially interpreted as love by both abuser and victim. These behaviors include verbal messages of "star crossed" love: "You're the only one who understands me." "I can't live without you." "I could never love anyone else." "We'll take care of each other's every need."
Examples of this would be:
1. Sexual jealousy that grows to extreme proportions very quickly: includes obsessive talking about prior relationships or becoming extremely angry when prior relationships are even hinted about. Accusing other men of looking at or flirting with her.
2. Telling her what she should wear, who she can talk to, and that his opinion is always the right one.
3. Makng scenes or being critical of her family and/or friends. Doing things that sabotage her getting together with family or friends.
4. Doing things that sabotage her employment: refusing to get a car repaired so she has no form of transportation, going back on agreements to provide childcare or other parenting obligations.
It is not limited to physical violence, but also includes verbal abuse, emotional abuse and economic abuse. It can be progressive social isolation, deprivation and intimidation. Remember that domestic violence is a power game; its purpose for the abuser is to control the victim in whatever form(s) it takes.
Physical abuse is the most well known type of domestic violence. It can include any or all of the following: pushing, punching, choking, burning, shooting, dragging, restraining, locking in the house, pushing or throwing down the stairs, kicking, poking, slapping, cutting, tripping, rapting, holding down, hair pulling, squeezing, suffocating, kidnapping, etc.
Verbal abuse is almost ALWAYS prevalent in any type of domestic violence situation. This includes name calling, yelling, making demeaning remarks, nagging, cussing, threatening, belittling, constant phone calls, actively undermining the victim's authority with children, telling her that she is a bad parent, that she can't control her kids, setting up so he can humiliate her in public or in front of family or friends.
Sexual abuse is very common in DV situations, but it is the aspect that my co-workers have found to be the least talked about by victims of DV. It includes the abuser making degrading sexual comments, forcing sex, assaulting breasts or genitals, forcing a partner to have sex with a third person, criticizing appearance, bragging about infidedlity, and forced cohabitation.
Emotional abuse is prevalent in just about every DV case. It includes making threats of violence, forcing a woman to do degrading things, controlling her activities, frightening her, or using her children or grandchildren as leverage against her, harming or killing a family pet, creating crisis, embarrasment, threatening to tell others about sexuality in the case of gay/lesbian victims.
Financial(economic) Abuse includes destroying property, prized possessions, a relative's property, taking the victim's money, denying her money, restricting access to household finances and witholding medical treatment, not allowing her to work or to attend school.
Neglect is an aspect of DV that comes more into play when children, elderly, or disabled people are the victims. This includes failing to do what a reasonable person should do under the circumstances, failure to provide food, shelter, clothing or personal hygiene to the victim; failure to take care of the needs of the person, and failure to protect the person from health and safety hazards.
Verbal abuse is almost always added to controlling behaviors. ITs purpose is to undermine the victim's independence, make her feel bad about herself, and get her to take responsibility for whatever is wrong.
Controlling behavior: Often there is a long period of controlling behavior that begins with dating relationships and is intiially interpreted as love by both abuser and victim. These behaviors include verbal messages of "star crossed" love: "You're the only one who understands me." "I can't live without you." "I could never love anyone else." "We'll take care of each other's every need."
Examples of this would be:
1. Sexual jealousy that grows to extreme proportions very quickly: includes obsessive talking about prior relationships or becoming extremely angry when prior relationships are even hinted about. Accusing other men of looking at or flirting with her.
2. Telling her what she should wear, who she can talk to, and that his opinion is always the right one.
3. Makng scenes or being critical of her family and/or friends. Doing things that sabotage her getting together with family or friends.
4. Doing things that sabotage her employment: refusing to get a car repaired so she has no form of transportation, going back on agreements to provide childcare or other parenting obligations.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-03 11:40 pm (UTC)As DV escalates there are usually always direct threats that if the victim tries to escapse she will be killed. Sometimes these threats come during beatings.