I didn't sleep last night
Oct. 4th, 2004 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xtremeroswelliaThis entry isn't intended for anyone outside of the Third Watch fandom, so feel free to skip over it. Lauren, I know you're a TW fan, but I also know you're not heavily involved in the fandom, thus this doesn't pertain to you either. So I'm not addressing you at all! *hugs*
I'm sad to say that this will be my last public post. Ever.
I'm sad to say that what was once a safe haven for me to go to when I was at my lowest has become the least safe place for me now.
I'm sad to say that as much as I love Third Watch and the fandom, I don't need or want the extra drama that goes along with being part of it. At least as far as Live Journal goes. I'll still be around the boards, but I'm jumping ship on LJ. After today, my LJ will be friends only.
I hate conflict. Despise it. I don't deal well with it. I'm a peacemaker, always have been. But as I've gotten older I've realized that trying to please everyone is futile. I've realized that sometimes if I don't speak my mind, it's just as damaging as saying something that might cause a potential conflict.
So at the risk of causing said conflict, I’m going to tell you a little story. It’s not directed at any one person in particular—it’s directed at everyone in the fandom.
I went away to college with two people (they were fraternal twins named Missy and Kate) that I thought were my friends. The truth was, they used me and I let them. Because it was better than being alone, or so I thought. The ways in which they intentionally hurt me caused so much damage, that to this day trusting anyone in real life is damn hard for me. They stole from me, wrote nasty things about me on my dorm room door, and worst of all--attempted to turn all of my other friends against me. When I finally got wisened up, I couldn't believe how long I let it go on for before booting them out of my life. It's easy for me to see now that they weren't friends at all.
But now? Unless I'm given a VERY good reason to trust someone, I don't. Sadly that's become the case with LJ. A lot of people in this fandom are guilty of talking about others behind their backs and making snide remarks about people and their fanfics. be it people on LJ or on message boards or fanfic archives. It's not just one person who's done this. I've watched it happen for the past year. It happens A LOT.
It's hard to trust someone who consistently talks about other people behind their backs. It's hard to tolerate someone who says to another that because of an opinion, no matter how rudely state, they should go kill themselves.
It's immature, horrible and sick.
One of said twins (Missy) once stated at college after a friend of mine tried to commit suicide, "Too bad he didn't succeed." That was the end of my friendship with her right there. Suggesting that anyone kill themselves simply because you don't like them is HORRIBLE. People who support people who make these statements are also sick individuals.
Ganging up on someone you don't even know and calling them names and telling them that no one would miss them if they died is worse than a person stating a non-popular, rude opinion in a public way. Not only that, but it makes you a hypocrite. I hate hypocrisy. I hate it worse than I hate conflict.
The fact is, this got very out of hand. REALLY out of hand. I've read statements from a lot of people about how if you have a problem with someone, you should talk to them about it privately. I agree with this. The sad part is, the people I've read this statement from didn't do this. Instead they chose to make public posts about the incident, thus dragging everyone else into it too. The mature thing would have been to simply email the person or defriend her if you didn't like what she had to say. Instead, it became a HUGE conflict that hurt a lot of people.
Maybe some of you enjoy the drama, I don't know. I don't.
It's utterly ridiculous. That being said, at the end of the day I will be turning this into a friends-only journal and the list of friends on said journal will be very few.
It boils down to trust. If I don't think I can trust you, we're not friends. And I'm sorry, but someone who talks about other people constantly is not trustworthy in my opinion. I think a lot of us have a lot of growing up to do. Good luck with your lives.
I'm sad to say that this will be my last public post. Ever.
I'm sad to say that what was once a safe haven for me to go to when I was at my lowest has become the least safe place for me now.
I'm sad to say that as much as I love Third Watch and the fandom, I don't need or want the extra drama that goes along with being part of it. At least as far as Live Journal goes. I'll still be around the boards, but I'm jumping ship on LJ. After today, my LJ will be friends only.
I hate conflict. Despise it. I don't deal well with it. I'm a peacemaker, always have been. But as I've gotten older I've realized that trying to please everyone is futile. I've realized that sometimes if I don't speak my mind, it's just as damaging as saying something that might cause a potential conflict.
So at the risk of causing said conflict, I’m going to tell you a little story. It’s not directed at any one person in particular—it’s directed at everyone in the fandom.
I went away to college with two people (they were fraternal twins named Missy and Kate) that I thought were my friends. The truth was, they used me and I let them. Because it was better than being alone, or so I thought. The ways in which they intentionally hurt me caused so much damage, that to this day trusting anyone in real life is damn hard for me. They stole from me, wrote nasty things about me on my dorm room door, and worst of all--attempted to turn all of my other friends against me. When I finally got wisened up, I couldn't believe how long I let it go on for before booting them out of my life. It's easy for me to see now that they weren't friends at all.
But now? Unless I'm given a VERY good reason to trust someone, I don't. Sadly that's become the case with LJ. A lot of people in this fandom are guilty of talking about others behind their backs and making snide remarks about people and their fanfics. be it people on LJ or on message boards or fanfic archives. It's not just one person who's done this. I've watched it happen for the past year. It happens A LOT.
It's hard to trust someone who consistently talks about other people behind their backs. It's hard to tolerate someone who says to another that because of an opinion, no matter how rudely state, they should go kill themselves.
It's immature, horrible and sick.
One of said twins (Missy) once stated at college after a friend of mine tried to commit suicide, "Too bad he didn't succeed." That was the end of my friendship with her right there. Suggesting that anyone kill themselves simply because you don't like them is HORRIBLE. People who support people who make these statements are also sick individuals.
Ganging up on someone you don't even know and calling them names and telling them that no one would miss them if they died is worse than a person stating a non-popular, rude opinion in a public way. Not only that, but it makes you a hypocrite. I hate hypocrisy. I hate it worse than I hate conflict.
The fact is, this got very out of hand. REALLY out of hand. I've read statements from a lot of people about how if you have a problem with someone, you should talk to them about it privately. I agree with this. The sad part is, the people I've read this statement from didn't do this. Instead they chose to make public posts about the incident, thus dragging everyone else into it too. The mature thing would have been to simply email the person or defriend her if you didn't like what she had to say. Instead, it became a HUGE conflict that hurt a lot of people.
Maybe some of you enjoy the drama, I don't know. I don't.
It's utterly ridiculous. That being said, at the end of the day I will be turning this into a friends-only journal and the list of friends on said journal will be very few.
It boils down to trust. If I don't think I can trust you, we're not friends. And I'm sorry, but someone who talks about other people constantly is not trustworthy in my opinion. I think a lot of us have a lot of growing up to do. Good luck with your lives.
