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xtremeroswelliaTitle: The Twelve Days of Christmas series: Fic # 12: Calling All Angels
Authors: NYPDBosco and X_tremeroswellian
Emails: mauriceboscorelli@yahoo.com & faithboscorelli1@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not ours.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Judgement Day I and II; Requiem for a Bantam Weight; Snowblind and The Price of Nobility are the main ones.
Summary: The angels in heaven visit their loved ones on Christmas Eve.
Author's Note: "Calling All Angels" is a wonderful song by Jane Siberry and can be found on the 'Pay It Forward' soundtrack.
Calling All Angels
Emily Yokas gazed at her mother who was sitting alone on the sofa in her dimly lit apartment. She listened as her mother's partner left yet another message on the answering machine as he tried to get Faith to pick up the phone and talk to him. However, her mother remained frozen on the sofa, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared in the direction where the Christmas tree always used to stand during this time of year. Though this year there was no Christmas tree. "Is this how it always is," Emily asked softly.
Bobby Caffey put a hand on her shoulder. "Holidays are a rough time of year for people who've lost someone they love," he told her just as softly.
She swallowed hard. "It's like...it's like she died, too," she whispered.
"She loves you a lot, Em. It's the first holiday for her without you. The first time's always the worst."
"So, it'll get better," she asked as she looked up at Bobby.
"Well...it's never easy, and it always hurts, but...it gets a little more bearable."
Emily nodded her head slightly before returning her gaze to her mother.
Alex Taylor sighed heavily. "You know, I never pictured Doc turning so angry...violent." She shook her head as she watched the former senior paramedic rip up the Christmas cards he'd just gotten in the mail, and then put them into his fireplace.
"Yeah, doesn't really seem the type, does he?" Bobby turned to look at her briefly. "I knew Doc a long time and I've never seen him like this before."
"No kidding," she whispered softly. "So...how's Kim doin' this year?"
"Not too bad. She misses you though. And of course me." He smiled.
"Sure she does Romeo," she chuckled.
Bobby chuckled as well. "What about Sully? How's he doin'?" He glanced over at the last person in the room, a pretty woman with dark hair that hadn't been around very long. He occasionally worried about her because she was always so quiet, withdrawn. But she'd been part of the family in an extended kind of way.
"He is not happy," Tatiana murmured.
"None of them are," Emily noted.
He nodded. She was right about that. "What would you three say to a special kind of Christmas surprise for them?"
Alex looked at Bobby, a questioning look in her eyes. "And what exactly do you have in mind?"
Bobby looked back at her and smiled, his eyes twinkling. "A little Christmas magic."
* * *
Sully closed the door of the children's home behind him, a very small smile on his face underneath his white Santa beard. He immediately turned to his partner. "Not a word of this to -anyone- Davis. You got me?"
"Oh, come on, Sully."
"Davis," he said in a warning tone.
"Fine, fine. Are you sure you don't wanna go out for breakfast in the morning or something?"
"Yeah." He nodded his head. "You go spend the day with your family."
"Well, why don't you come over, at least?"
"Look Ty, I know you're tryin' to be helpful and all, but I don't think so. I'm just gonna stay home." He shrugged. "Besides, no one's gonna want grumpy Sully showing up on Christmas."
Davis sighed, removed the antlers from his head. Ever since he'd talked to Carlos the day before he'd been trying to figure out a way that his partner didn't have to spend the holiday all alone. "Well, look. If you can change your mind, you're welcome to come by. My mom's making food and she'd love to see you."
"Yeah, I'm sure Maggie would love to see me," he mumbled. "Well, I gotta go get outta this suit, it's startin' to itch. See ya later Davis."
"Merry Christmas, Sul," he said softly.
"Yeah...Merry Christmas, Ty." Sully turned, and headed for his car.
Davis watched him go, feeling bad. No one should have to spend Christmas alone. But he had no idea how to get that through to his partner. He just hoped Sully wouldn't be miserable.
Once he was inside his car Sully took off his Santa beard, and threw it onto the passenger's seat.
The hat landed in Tatiana's lap as she sat in the passenger seat of his car, feeling nervous. She was having serious doubts about Bobby's idea. "Hello, John," she said softly.
Sully's eyes widened slightly at the sound of his wife's voice. Very slowly he turned his head, an almost frightened look on his face.
"I'm sorry. I do not mean to scare you." She held a hand out.
He swallowed hard. "Tatiana?"
She smiled softly, nodding.
A mixture of happiness and sadness washed over him as he reached for her hand. "I miss you so much," he whispered.
She touched his face with her other hand. "I miss you, too, John." She slid her fingers through his.
He closed his at her soft touch, his face feeling warm where her hand rested. "I'm sorry," he told her softly as he opened his eyes to gaze at her.
Tatiana gazed back at him. "I know. It is okay. You did not mean for bad things to happen."
Sully shifted in the seat so he could see her better. "I love you."
"I love you, too, John." Her voice was very soft and she leaned forward, kissing him lightly.
"It's not the same without you," he whispered, his eyes shining with tears. "I was alone for so long, and then you came along...but now..."
"You are never alone." She touched his face again, then slid her hand down to cover his heart. "I'm always here. And you have good friends who want to help."
He shook his head. "Everyone I care about dies," he told her quietly. "I can't get too close."
"That is not true, John. Ty is not dead. I do not want you to spend Christmas alone."
"I care about him too much to let him get hurt because of me. It's already happened once."
"Bad things happen. You cannot control them all. You cannot shut yourself down, either."
Sully smiled softly, and lifted his hand so he could run his fingers through her hair. "You were always so good to me."
"I wish you to be happy again," she said softly.
"I don't think it's that easy."
"No. It is not." She leaned her forehead against his. "But I still wish it."
He closed his eyes for a few moments, his fingers tangled in her hair. "It's so good to see you."
"I wish I could stay longer," Tatiana said quietly.
"Me too." He pulled back, and kissed her forehead. "So...you think I should go to Maggie's tomorrow," he asked her softly.
She smiled faintly. "Yes. I think it is good idea," she whispered. "Ty is very worried for you."
"He's a good friend," he whispered back.
"He is lucky to have you."
Sully chuckled softly. "I think you got that backwards."
She smiled. "You lucky to have him, too. You have each other."
He nodded his head. "I'm so glad you came," he told her quietly.
"I did not know I could, but...an old friend of yours...said because it was Christmas...that the rules could be bent."
"Old friend of mine?"
She nodded. "Bobby Caffey."
Sully kissed her forehead once more. "Tell him I said 'thank you'."
"I will. You have merry Christmas, John." She touched his face gently.
"You too." He turned his head, and kissed her palm. "I love you, Tatiana."
"I love you," she whispered, kissing his lips softly once more. Then she disappeared.
He opened his eyes once the kiss was over to find her gone, but there was a smile on his face, and his heart didn't feel as heavy.
* * *
Doc finished burning the last of the Christmas cards in his fireplace, along with the birth announcement that Sarah had sent him. He hadn't bothered sending cards out to anyone this year. He had nothing to celebrate or be happy about. He planned on sleeping all day tomorrow. There was really no point of getting out of bed if he didn't have to work. It wasn't like he had a family.
"Glad I didn't waste time sendin' you a card."
He whirled around, startled by the familiar voice. "Taylor?"
She nodded her head. "Merry Christmas?"
"What...how..." Doc stared at her.
"This angel business is a trip," she told him with a smirk.
His mouth was still hanging open. "I've gotta start gettin' more sleep," he mumbled.
Alex chuckled. "Some of us were watchin' you from above, and well..." She looked around the apartment. "You looked like you could use a little help."
Doc looked around as well. "I'm doin' just fine," he said shortly.
"Sure you are. You snap at people You're violent." She crossed her arms. "But you're just fine," she said sarcastically.
"What? You're gonna come in my house on Christmas Eve and tell me off?"
"I'm not here to tell you off, Doc. I'm here to help," she told him softly.
"You think you can help?"
"I hope so. Cause this isn't you, Doc."
"Yeah, well it is now."
"It doesn't have to be this way though." Alex put her hands in her pockets, taking a less defensive stance.
"How can it not be, Taylor?" He shook his head, staring at her like she was the one with the problem.
"Look, I know you feel bad about what happened, but...it wasn't your fault."
"If I hadn't assigned you to work the medic position, you'd still be here!"
Taylor shook her head. "Do you have any idea how many times Johnson told me to get off that car?"
"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't have been on that car to begin with if it wasn't for me."
"Sure, but how do you know I wouldn't have gotten killed while standing by as a firefighter?"
Doc opened his mouth to speak, but realized he didn't have a response to that.
"You didn't kill me, Doc."
He swallowed hard. "I never meant for this to happen."
"I know that." She smiled softly. "Everyone knows that."
He looked down at the floor for a moment, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "You gotta know that if I could do things all over again..."
"Don't do this to yourself," she whispered. "Nobody blames you. I don't."
Doc closed his eyes tightly.
She walked over to him, and put a hand on his arm. "Cut yourself a break."
He lifted his eyes to hers. "It's not the same without you around."
"Come on, Doc." She smirked. "I'm always around."
He cracked a smile. "Are you the one who hid Carlos' lucky socks?"
"Oh I'll never tell."
A chuckle escaped his lips. "And I won't either, cause...they'll think I've gone nuts."
"It's nice to see you smile again," she told him softly.
He gazed at her. "Thanks for...comin' here," he said quietly.
She nodded her head. "It was kinda Bobby's idea."
Doc's eyes widened a little. "Bobby?"
"Yup. We were both pretty worried about you."
He was silent for a moment. "Tell him I said hello." Without another word, he moved forward and hugged her, closing his eyes.
"I will." Alex returned the embrace, holding him tight.
When he opened his eyes again, she was gone. The smile on his face wasn't. He didn't know how it all worked, but somehow Bobby and Taylor were up there together watching over all of them. And that made him feel a lot better.
* * *
Kim gazed down at Jimmy as he lay in her bed asleep. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and climbed out of bed, wrapping her robe around herself as she moved out to the living room and sat down on the floor by the Christmas tree. She plugged in the lights and sat looking out the window as she leaned against the sofa.
Bobby bit his lip as he gazed at her for a moment. "Kim," he whispered.
She turned her head to look at him, a soft smile on her face. "Hey. I was beginnin' to think you weren't gonna come this year."
"Well, even with Doherty here I couldn't stay away," he told her with a smile.
She chuckled. "Yeah, I bet you weren't thrilled to see that, huh?"
"It was rather disturbing," he chuckled.
Kim rose to her feet, smiling. "Well, I'm glad you made it."
"Me too." He smiled as he moved toward her.
She slipped her arms around his waist in a hug. "Things have been pretty crazy down here lately."
Bobby nodded his head. "Yeah, I've been watching. It's pretty heart wrenching."
She drew in a breath and let it out slowly, relaxing in his arms. "Have you um..." She paused for a moment, then lifted her gaze to his. "Have you seen Alex?"
"I see her everyday," he told Kim softly. "We actually sit and critique you guys while you're working," he joked.
"Oh, very funny." She chuckled, then grew serious again. "And she's okay?"
"Yeah, Kim. She's doin' just fine." He kissed her forehead.
Kim nodded and was silent for a moment. "I miss you guys," she whispered.
"We miss you, too," he whispered back as he gazed at her. "But don't go gettin' in any hurry to come see us."
"I won't," she promised. "I kinda wanna see what's gonna happen with me and Jimmy." Her voice was soft.
"You seem happy," he said quietly.
She was silent for a moment. "I am. But I'm also scared, because...well, it's Jimmy...and let's face it, we don't exactly have the best track record."
He nodded his head. "I think it might be different this time," he whispered.
"Really?" There was a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
Bobby smiled softly. "Yeah, but I guarantee you that if he -somehow- manages to break your heart again I'll make sure lightning strikes him."
Kim laughed, shaking her head. "It's good to have best friends in high places," she said lightly.
He pulled her close again remaining silent for a few moments. "Christmas is definitely my favorite time of year."
"Mine too," she said softly, hugging him tightly. Knowing all too well that he couldn't stay much longer. "Joey made you a Christmas card. I left it with the flowers I bring you on Christmas Eve every year."
Bobby smiled. "I'll go check it out."
"I love you, Bobby," she whispered, kissing his cheek.
"I love you, too, Kim." He rubbed her back gently. "Take care."
"You too." She kissed his lips. "Send Alex my love."
"Definitely." He gazed at her, a warm smile on his face. "Remember, I'm always here."
Kim smiled back. "I know." She gave his hand a squeeze. "See you next Christmas."
"I'm counting the days." He placed a final kiss on her forehead before vanishing.
"Me too," she whispered, a soft smile on her face.
* * *
Emily found herself sitting on the bed in the room she used to share with her brother. All of her belongings were still there. Untouched as if waiting for her to come home. She picked up a teddy bear off the bed, slowly stood up, and made her way down the hall toward where she heard her mother crying softly.
Faith sat curled up on the sofa, her head resting in her hands. "God, Emily, I miss you so much," she whispered, her voice broken.
"I miss you, too."
She jerked her head up, startled by the voice. "Emily?" Her voice was barely audible as she stared at her daughter. She was seeing things. She had to be.
"Hi Mom," she whispered as she took a few steps toward the sofa.
"Oh, my God," Faith whispered, rising off the couch and moving toward her. She wrapped her arms around her without hesitation. "Oh, my God." She hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head.
"I'm sorry, mom." She slipped her arms around her mother's waist. "I'm so sorry."
"No, I'm the one who's sorry." Tears streamed down her face as she held her tighter.
"I didn't think it would hurt to just try it," she whispered, her voice cracking.
"Shh, baby." Faith kissed her forehead. "I know."
Emily took a deep breath. "I ruined your life."
She pulled away, her eyes wide. "No, Emmy. No, you didn't ruin my life," she whispered. "You're my baby girl. I love you so much. You and Charlie are the best things that ever happened to me." Another tear slid down her cheek.
"But dad left," she whispered.
"That wasn't your fault," Faith whispered back.
"But when I died...things changed."
"Of course they did," she said sadly, her voice soft. "But things always change." She touched her daughter's cheek.
She leaned into her mother's touch. "You don't have to be sad," she told her quietly. "I'm okay."
Faith's face crumpled at her soft words. "I just miss you so much."
Emily nodded. "I know, but...even though I'm not here physically...I'm still here."
She pulled her daughter into her arms again. "Are they takin' care of you up there?" she whispered, holding her tightly.
"Yeah," she whispered back. "I've gotten to know Bobby and Alex. They're great. And Tatiana. She's real quiet, but she's fun."
Faith closed her eyes, afraid if she let Emily go even for a second she would disappear and it would all have been a dream.
"I've uh...I've been keeping an eye on you guys," she told her mother softly.
"You have?"
She nodded. "I saw Charlie in the school Christmas concert last week, and I now realize just how boring dad's job can be," she said with a soft chuckle. Her face grew serious. "And tonight...I saw how sad you were, and...well it was Bobby's idea to come see you."
"Bobby was always lookin' after everyone," she murmured, kissing Emily's forehead.
"He's like an overprotective big brother."
"That's a good description," she agreed. "But I'm glad he's there watchin' out for you."
Emily smiled softly. "It's not quite home, but it's pretty close."
She rested her head against Emily's. "There's so much I wanna say to you," she whispered.
"I don't have a whole lot of time tonight," she told her mother in a hushed voice. "But you can talk to me whenever you want."
A tear dripped down her cheek. "I'm sorry we spent so much time fighting. God, Em, if I had known..."
"Please don't cry, mom." She lifted her hand to wipe the tear away.
She nodded, biting down hard on her lip. "I always loved you. I still love you. More than anything."
"I love you, too, mom. And I am -so- sorry."
"Me too, Emmy." She kissed her cheek.
"From what I understand...I can come visit for a short time every Christmas," she whispered.
"I wish it was next Christmas already."
"Yeah." Emily nodded her head. "But even if you can't see me I'll always be around."
"You don't have to go yet, do you?" she whispered.
She frowned. "Pretty soon," she whispered back.
"Can I just hold you for a little while?"
"I'd like that."
Faith sat down on the sofa and Emily sat down beside her. She pulled her daughter into her arms, cradling her like she had done when Emily was much younger. She gently stroked her hair as she kissed her forehead.
She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears as her mother held her. "Mom," she whispered.
"Yeah, Emmy?" she whispered back.
"When I leave tonight...you should open the front door."
"The front door?"
Emily nodded her head. "Bosco's been callin' you all night, right?"
There was a flicker of confusion on her face. "Yeah."
"Well, the last time he called he was on his cell, standing outside the door." She smiled at her mother. "He's still there."
"That was hours ago."
"I know."
Faith closed her eyes for a moment, then quickly opened them again, not wanting to take her eyes off her baby girl for long. She gazed at her silently, memorizing every detail of her face.
"I know this is hard for you," she whispered. "But can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Live your life," she whispered. "Don't worry about me."
A fresh wave of tears flooded her eyes. "I'll do my best...but I can't make any promises," she whispered back, hugging her close.
"Just remember that I'll be watching," she said lightly. "So I'll know."
A sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob escaped her lips. A couple tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'll keep that in mind."
Emily kissed her mother's cheek. "I'll see you next Christmas."
"I love you." Faith held her breath as she hugged her daughter once more.
"I love you, mom." She returned the embrace. "Don't forget to open the front door."
"I won't forget." She kissed Emily's forehead lightly, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, her daughter was gone. She sat motionless on the sofa for a long moment, her body trembling as she tried not to cry. Swallowing hard, she managed to push herself to her feet and walk over to the front door, which she quickly unlocked and opened. Just as Emily had said, Bosco was sitting right outside her door, his back against the wall.
Hearing the door open he quickly stood up. "Hi."
She gazed at him silently for a moment, then moved forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
Bosco didn't hesitate, and slid his arms around her waist. "Did you know I was here?"
"Yeah. I just found out."
He rubbed her back in a circular motion. "Yeah? How's that?"
Faith was silent for a moment. "Emily," she whispered, her voice barely audible. If it had been anyone else in the world, she wouldn't have shared that information. But if there was one person that she trusted completely, it was Bosco.
He pulled back slightly so he could look at her. His eyes were questioning, but they were also filled with warmth. He didn't think she was crazy for saying that Emily had told her, however he was a little curious.
"I don't know how...but she was here, Boz." Her voice was soft.
Bosco smiled softly. "Well...it is Christmas."
"Yeah. I guess it is." She wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "Merry Christmas."
He pulled her into a hug. "Merry Christmas, Faith," he whispered softly.
She closed her eyes, hugging him back. "Will you stay with me the rest of the night?" she whispered back. "I don't wanna be alone."
"Of course I'll stay."
Faith reached down until her fingers were linked through his. She led him inside, closing the door behind them. "Thanks for...not leavin'." Her voice was soft.
"I was gonna get you to talk to me somehow," he told her with a grin.
A small smile touched her lips. "Boz?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think...could you hold me for awhile?" she whispered.
He nodded his head, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Sure, Faith."
Instead of leading him over to the sofa, she led him down the hall and into her bedroom. She pulled the covers back and crawled into bed, scooting over to make room for him.
Bosco dumped his jacket on the floor, took off his shoes, and looked at her a little uncertainly before climbing into bed with her.
Faith shifted closer to him, resting her head on his chest as she let her eyes drift shut. She'd held her daughter only a few short moments ago. Now she needed someone to hold her.
* * *
Bobby smiled as he gazed down at Kim and Jimmy as they knocked on Maggie Davis' front door, followed closely by Sully, who looked uncomfortable, though he was indeed there. "Well, looks like we pulled it off," he commented to Tatiana, who smiled softly.
"I want John to be happy. He is good man."
"Yeah. Yeah, he is," Bobby agreed, nodding.
Taylor watched as Doc walked toward the house with a casserole dish in his hand. "Hey look at that." She pointed. "He even brought food with him."
Bobby raised his eyebrows. "You really are a miracle worker. You might have to get a promotion."
She chuckled softly, and swatted Bobby on the arm.
Emily wrapped her arms around her stomach as she scanned the scene below. She bit her lip as she watched all the others make their way to Maggie's home. "Does anyone see my mom," she asked in a whisper.
Tatiana glanced around. "There. She is with Bosco." She pointed.
A smile spread across the young girl's face as she watched her mother and Bosco approach the house. The two of them were holding hands, and her mother was smiling softly. "Hey Bobby?"
"Yeah, Em?" He glanced over at her.
"Thanks, for showing us we could help them."
Bobby offered her a smile. "You're welcome."
She turned her attention back to her mother and Bosco.
Alex watched as Maggie Davis welcomed everyone into her home, and ushered them all toward the dining room where she'd laid out Christmas dinner for her extended family. She smiled and looked at her friends. "So whaddya say we sit down, and have Christmas dinner with them?" Taylor nodded toward the table that was set up behind them.
"I would like that," Tatiana said softly, gazing at her husband.
"Yeah. I think that's a nice idea." Bobby nodded his agreement as well.
Emily smiled softly. "We get to do this every Christmas, right?"
He patted her shoulder lightly. "Definitely. That's what Christmas is all about."
Calling All Angels-Jane Siberry
Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Anna, Santa Susannah
Santa Cecilia, Santa Copelia, Santa Dominica, Mary Angelica
Frater Achad, Frater Pietro, Julianus, Petronella
Santa, Santos, Miroslaw, Vladimir
And all the rest
A man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
And high above the church bells start to ring
And as the heaviness the body
Oh the heaviness settles in
Somewhere you can hear a mother sing
Then it`s one foot then the other
As you step out onto the road
How much weight? how much weight?
Then it`s how long? and how far?
And how many times before it`s too late?
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
Walk me through this one
Don`t leave me alone
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
We`re cryin` and we`re hurtin`
And we`re not sure why...
And every day you gaze upon the sunset
With such love and intensity
Why it`s...it`s almost as if
If you could only crack the code
Then you`d finally understand what this all means
But if you could...do you think you would
Trade it in
All the pain and suffering?
Ah, but then you`d miss
The beauty of the light upon this earth
And the sweetness of the leaving
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
Walk me through this one
Don`t leave me alone
Callin` all angels
Callin` all angels
We`re tryin`
We`re hopin`
We`re hurtin`
We`re lovin`
We`re cryin`
We`re callin`
`Cause we`re not sure how this goes
Authors: NYPDBosco and X_tremeroswellian
Emails: mauriceboscorelli@yahoo.com & faithboscorelli1@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not ours.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Judgement Day I and II; Requiem for a Bantam Weight; Snowblind and The Price of Nobility are the main ones.
Summary: The angels in heaven visit their loved ones on Christmas Eve.
Author's Note: "Calling All Angels" is a wonderful song by Jane Siberry and can be found on the 'Pay It Forward' soundtrack.
Calling All Angels
Emily Yokas gazed at her mother who was sitting alone on the sofa in her dimly lit apartment. She listened as her mother's partner left yet another message on the answering machine as he tried to get Faith to pick up the phone and talk to him. However, her mother remained frozen on the sofa, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared in the direction where the Christmas tree always used to stand during this time of year. Though this year there was no Christmas tree. "Is this how it always is," Emily asked softly.
Bobby Caffey put a hand on her shoulder. "Holidays are a rough time of year for people who've lost someone they love," he told her just as softly.
She swallowed hard. "It's like...it's like she died, too," she whispered.
"She loves you a lot, Em. It's the first holiday for her without you. The first time's always the worst."
"So, it'll get better," she asked as she looked up at Bobby.
"Well...it's never easy, and it always hurts, but...it gets a little more bearable."
Emily nodded her head slightly before returning her gaze to her mother.
Alex Taylor sighed heavily. "You know, I never pictured Doc turning so angry...violent." She shook her head as she watched the former senior paramedic rip up the Christmas cards he'd just gotten in the mail, and then put them into his fireplace.
"Yeah, doesn't really seem the type, does he?" Bobby turned to look at her briefly. "I knew Doc a long time and I've never seen him like this before."
"No kidding," she whispered softly. "So...how's Kim doin' this year?"
"Not too bad. She misses you though. And of course me." He smiled.
"Sure she does Romeo," she chuckled.
Bobby chuckled as well. "What about Sully? How's he doin'?" He glanced over at the last person in the room, a pretty woman with dark hair that hadn't been around very long. He occasionally worried about her because she was always so quiet, withdrawn. But she'd been part of the family in an extended kind of way.
"He is not happy," Tatiana murmured.
"None of them are," Emily noted.
He nodded. She was right about that. "What would you three say to a special kind of Christmas surprise for them?"
Alex looked at Bobby, a questioning look in her eyes. "And what exactly do you have in mind?"
Bobby looked back at her and smiled, his eyes twinkling. "A little Christmas magic."
* * *
Sully closed the door of the children's home behind him, a very small smile on his face underneath his white Santa beard. He immediately turned to his partner. "Not a word of this to -anyone- Davis. You got me?"
"Oh, come on, Sully."
"Davis," he said in a warning tone.
"Fine, fine. Are you sure you don't wanna go out for breakfast in the morning or something?"
"Yeah." He nodded his head. "You go spend the day with your family."
"Well, why don't you come over, at least?"
"Look Ty, I know you're tryin' to be helpful and all, but I don't think so. I'm just gonna stay home." He shrugged. "Besides, no one's gonna want grumpy Sully showing up on Christmas."
Davis sighed, removed the antlers from his head. Ever since he'd talked to Carlos the day before he'd been trying to figure out a way that his partner didn't have to spend the holiday all alone. "Well, look. If you can change your mind, you're welcome to come by. My mom's making food and she'd love to see you."
"Yeah, I'm sure Maggie would love to see me," he mumbled. "Well, I gotta go get outta this suit, it's startin' to itch. See ya later Davis."
"Merry Christmas, Sul," he said softly.
"Yeah...Merry Christmas, Ty." Sully turned, and headed for his car.
Davis watched him go, feeling bad. No one should have to spend Christmas alone. But he had no idea how to get that through to his partner. He just hoped Sully wouldn't be miserable.
Once he was inside his car Sully took off his Santa beard, and threw it onto the passenger's seat.
The hat landed in Tatiana's lap as she sat in the passenger seat of his car, feeling nervous. She was having serious doubts about Bobby's idea. "Hello, John," she said softly.
Sully's eyes widened slightly at the sound of his wife's voice. Very slowly he turned his head, an almost frightened look on his face.
"I'm sorry. I do not mean to scare you." She held a hand out.
He swallowed hard. "Tatiana?"
She smiled softly, nodding.
A mixture of happiness and sadness washed over him as he reached for her hand. "I miss you so much," he whispered.
She touched his face with her other hand. "I miss you, too, John." She slid her fingers through his.
He closed his at her soft touch, his face feeling warm where her hand rested. "I'm sorry," he told her softly as he opened his eyes to gaze at her.
Tatiana gazed back at him. "I know. It is okay. You did not mean for bad things to happen."
Sully shifted in the seat so he could see her better. "I love you."
"I love you, too, John." Her voice was very soft and she leaned forward, kissing him lightly.
"It's not the same without you," he whispered, his eyes shining with tears. "I was alone for so long, and then you came along...but now..."
"You are never alone." She touched his face again, then slid her hand down to cover his heart. "I'm always here. And you have good friends who want to help."
He shook his head. "Everyone I care about dies," he told her quietly. "I can't get too close."
"That is not true, John. Ty is not dead. I do not want you to spend Christmas alone."
"I care about him too much to let him get hurt because of me. It's already happened once."
"Bad things happen. You cannot control them all. You cannot shut yourself down, either."
Sully smiled softly, and lifted his hand so he could run his fingers through her hair. "You were always so good to me."
"I wish you to be happy again," she said softly.
"I don't think it's that easy."
"No. It is not." She leaned her forehead against his. "But I still wish it."
He closed his eyes for a few moments, his fingers tangled in her hair. "It's so good to see you."
"I wish I could stay longer," Tatiana said quietly.
"Me too." He pulled back, and kissed her forehead. "So...you think I should go to Maggie's tomorrow," he asked her softly.
She smiled faintly. "Yes. I think it is good idea," she whispered. "Ty is very worried for you."
"He's a good friend," he whispered back.
"He is lucky to have you."
Sully chuckled softly. "I think you got that backwards."
She smiled. "You lucky to have him, too. You have each other."
He nodded his head. "I'm so glad you came," he told her quietly.
"I did not know I could, but...an old friend of yours...said because it was Christmas...that the rules could be bent."
"Old friend of mine?"
She nodded. "Bobby Caffey."
Sully kissed her forehead once more. "Tell him I said 'thank you'."
"I will. You have merry Christmas, John." She touched his face gently.
"You too." He turned his head, and kissed her palm. "I love you, Tatiana."
"I love you," she whispered, kissing his lips softly once more. Then she disappeared.
He opened his eyes once the kiss was over to find her gone, but there was a smile on his face, and his heart didn't feel as heavy.
* * *
Doc finished burning the last of the Christmas cards in his fireplace, along with the birth announcement that Sarah had sent him. He hadn't bothered sending cards out to anyone this year. He had nothing to celebrate or be happy about. He planned on sleeping all day tomorrow. There was really no point of getting out of bed if he didn't have to work. It wasn't like he had a family.
"Glad I didn't waste time sendin' you a card."
He whirled around, startled by the familiar voice. "Taylor?"
She nodded her head. "Merry Christmas?"
"What...how..." Doc stared at her.
"This angel business is a trip," she told him with a smirk.
His mouth was still hanging open. "I've gotta start gettin' more sleep," he mumbled.
Alex chuckled. "Some of us were watchin' you from above, and well..." She looked around the apartment. "You looked like you could use a little help."
Doc looked around as well. "I'm doin' just fine," he said shortly.
"Sure you are. You snap at people You're violent." She crossed her arms. "But you're just fine," she said sarcastically.
"What? You're gonna come in my house on Christmas Eve and tell me off?"
"I'm not here to tell you off, Doc. I'm here to help," she told him softly.
"You think you can help?"
"I hope so. Cause this isn't you, Doc."
"Yeah, well it is now."
"It doesn't have to be this way though." Alex put her hands in her pockets, taking a less defensive stance.
"How can it not be, Taylor?" He shook his head, staring at her like she was the one with the problem.
"Look, I know you feel bad about what happened, but...it wasn't your fault."
"If I hadn't assigned you to work the medic position, you'd still be here!"
Taylor shook her head. "Do you have any idea how many times Johnson told me to get off that car?"
"It doesn't matter. You wouldn't have been on that car to begin with if it wasn't for me."
"Sure, but how do you know I wouldn't have gotten killed while standing by as a firefighter?"
Doc opened his mouth to speak, but realized he didn't have a response to that.
"You didn't kill me, Doc."
He swallowed hard. "I never meant for this to happen."
"I know that." She smiled softly. "Everyone knows that."
He looked down at the floor for a moment, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "You gotta know that if I could do things all over again..."
"Don't do this to yourself," she whispered. "Nobody blames you. I don't."
Doc closed his eyes tightly.
She walked over to him, and put a hand on his arm. "Cut yourself a break."
He lifted his eyes to hers. "It's not the same without you around."
"Come on, Doc." She smirked. "I'm always around."
He cracked a smile. "Are you the one who hid Carlos' lucky socks?"
"Oh I'll never tell."
A chuckle escaped his lips. "And I won't either, cause...they'll think I've gone nuts."
"It's nice to see you smile again," she told him softly.
He gazed at her. "Thanks for...comin' here," he said quietly.
She nodded her head. "It was kinda Bobby's idea."
Doc's eyes widened a little. "Bobby?"
"Yup. We were both pretty worried about you."
He was silent for a moment. "Tell him I said hello." Without another word, he moved forward and hugged her, closing his eyes.
"I will." Alex returned the embrace, holding him tight.
When he opened his eyes again, she was gone. The smile on his face wasn't. He didn't know how it all worked, but somehow Bobby and Taylor were up there together watching over all of them. And that made him feel a lot better.
* * *
Kim gazed down at Jimmy as he lay in her bed asleep. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and climbed out of bed, wrapping her robe around herself as she moved out to the living room and sat down on the floor by the Christmas tree. She plugged in the lights and sat looking out the window as she leaned against the sofa.
Bobby bit his lip as he gazed at her for a moment. "Kim," he whispered.
She turned her head to look at him, a soft smile on her face. "Hey. I was beginnin' to think you weren't gonna come this year."
"Well, even with Doherty here I couldn't stay away," he told her with a smile.
She chuckled. "Yeah, I bet you weren't thrilled to see that, huh?"
"It was rather disturbing," he chuckled.
Kim rose to her feet, smiling. "Well, I'm glad you made it."
"Me too." He smiled as he moved toward her.
She slipped her arms around his waist in a hug. "Things have been pretty crazy down here lately."
Bobby nodded his head. "Yeah, I've been watching. It's pretty heart wrenching."
She drew in a breath and let it out slowly, relaxing in his arms. "Have you um..." She paused for a moment, then lifted her gaze to his. "Have you seen Alex?"
"I see her everyday," he told Kim softly. "We actually sit and critique you guys while you're working," he joked.
"Oh, very funny." She chuckled, then grew serious again. "And she's okay?"
"Yeah, Kim. She's doin' just fine." He kissed her forehead.
Kim nodded and was silent for a moment. "I miss you guys," she whispered.
"We miss you, too," he whispered back as he gazed at her. "But don't go gettin' in any hurry to come see us."
"I won't," she promised. "I kinda wanna see what's gonna happen with me and Jimmy." Her voice was soft.
"You seem happy," he said quietly.
She was silent for a moment. "I am. But I'm also scared, because...well, it's Jimmy...and let's face it, we don't exactly have the best track record."
He nodded his head. "I think it might be different this time," he whispered.
"Really?" There was a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
Bobby smiled softly. "Yeah, but I guarantee you that if he -somehow- manages to break your heart again I'll make sure lightning strikes him."
Kim laughed, shaking her head. "It's good to have best friends in high places," she said lightly.
He pulled her close again remaining silent for a few moments. "Christmas is definitely my favorite time of year."
"Mine too," she said softly, hugging him tightly. Knowing all too well that he couldn't stay much longer. "Joey made you a Christmas card. I left it with the flowers I bring you on Christmas Eve every year."
Bobby smiled. "I'll go check it out."
"I love you, Bobby," she whispered, kissing his cheek.
"I love you, too, Kim." He rubbed her back gently. "Take care."
"You too." She kissed his lips. "Send Alex my love."
"Definitely." He gazed at her, a warm smile on his face. "Remember, I'm always here."
Kim smiled back. "I know." She gave his hand a squeeze. "See you next Christmas."
"I'm counting the days." He placed a final kiss on her forehead before vanishing.
"Me too," she whispered, a soft smile on her face.
* * *
Emily found herself sitting on the bed in the room she used to share with her brother. All of her belongings were still there. Untouched as if waiting for her to come home. She picked up a teddy bear off the bed, slowly stood up, and made her way down the hall toward where she heard her mother crying softly.
Faith sat curled up on the sofa, her head resting in her hands. "God, Emily, I miss you so much," she whispered, her voice broken.
"I miss you, too."
She jerked her head up, startled by the voice. "Emily?" Her voice was barely audible as she stared at her daughter. She was seeing things. She had to be.
"Hi Mom," she whispered as she took a few steps toward the sofa.
"Oh, my God," Faith whispered, rising off the couch and moving toward her. She wrapped her arms around her without hesitation. "Oh, my God." She hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head.
"I'm sorry, mom." She slipped her arms around her mother's waist. "I'm so sorry."
"No, I'm the one who's sorry." Tears streamed down her face as she held her tighter.
"I didn't think it would hurt to just try it," she whispered, her voice cracking.
"Shh, baby." Faith kissed her forehead. "I know."
Emily took a deep breath. "I ruined your life."
She pulled away, her eyes wide. "No, Emmy. No, you didn't ruin my life," she whispered. "You're my baby girl. I love you so much. You and Charlie are the best things that ever happened to me." Another tear slid down her cheek.
"But dad left," she whispered.
"That wasn't your fault," Faith whispered back.
"But when I died...things changed."
"Of course they did," she said sadly, her voice soft. "But things always change." She touched her daughter's cheek.
She leaned into her mother's touch. "You don't have to be sad," she told her quietly. "I'm okay."
Faith's face crumpled at her soft words. "I just miss you so much."
Emily nodded. "I know, but...even though I'm not here physically...I'm still here."
She pulled her daughter into her arms again. "Are they takin' care of you up there?" she whispered, holding her tightly.
"Yeah," she whispered back. "I've gotten to know Bobby and Alex. They're great. And Tatiana. She's real quiet, but she's fun."
Faith closed her eyes, afraid if she let Emily go even for a second she would disappear and it would all have been a dream.
"I've uh...I've been keeping an eye on you guys," she told her mother softly.
"You have?"
She nodded. "I saw Charlie in the school Christmas concert last week, and I now realize just how boring dad's job can be," she said with a soft chuckle. Her face grew serious. "And tonight...I saw how sad you were, and...well it was Bobby's idea to come see you."
"Bobby was always lookin' after everyone," she murmured, kissing Emily's forehead.
"He's like an overprotective big brother."
"That's a good description," she agreed. "But I'm glad he's there watchin' out for you."
Emily smiled softly. "It's not quite home, but it's pretty close."
She rested her head against Emily's. "There's so much I wanna say to you," she whispered.
"I don't have a whole lot of time tonight," she told her mother in a hushed voice. "But you can talk to me whenever you want."
A tear dripped down her cheek. "I'm sorry we spent so much time fighting. God, Em, if I had known..."
"Please don't cry, mom." She lifted her hand to wipe the tear away.
She nodded, biting down hard on her lip. "I always loved you. I still love you. More than anything."
"I love you, too, mom. And I am -so- sorry."
"Me too, Emmy." She kissed her cheek.
"From what I understand...I can come visit for a short time every Christmas," she whispered.
"I wish it was next Christmas already."
"Yeah." Emily nodded her head. "But even if you can't see me I'll always be around."
"You don't have to go yet, do you?" she whispered.
She frowned. "Pretty soon," she whispered back.
"Can I just hold you for a little while?"
"I'd like that."
Faith sat down on the sofa and Emily sat down beside her. She pulled her daughter into her arms, cradling her like she had done when Emily was much younger. She gently stroked her hair as she kissed her forehead.
She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears as her mother held her. "Mom," she whispered.
"Yeah, Emmy?" she whispered back.
"When I leave tonight...you should open the front door."
"The front door?"
Emily nodded her head. "Bosco's been callin' you all night, right?"
There was a flicker of confusion on her face. "Yeah."
"Well, the last time he called he was on his cell, standing outside the door." She smiled at her mother. "He's still there."
"That was hours ago."
"I know."
Faith closed her eyes for a moment, then quickly opened them again, not wanting to take her eyes off her baby girl for long. She gazed at her silently, memorizing every detail of her face.
"I know this is hard for you," she whispered. "But can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Live your life," she whispered. "Don't worry about me."
A fresh wave of tears flooded her eyes. "I'll do my best...but I can't make any promises," she whispered back, hugging her close.
"Just remember that I'll be watching," she said lightly. "So I'll know."
A sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob escaped her lips. A couple tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'll keep that in mind."
Emily kissed her mother's cheek. "I'll see you next Christmas."
"I love you." Faith held her breath as she hugged her daughter once more.
"I love you, mom." She returned the embrace. "Don't forget to open the front door."
"I won't forget." She kissed Emily's forehead lightly, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, her daughter was gone. She sat motionless on the sofa for a long moment, her body trembling as she tried not to cry. Swallowing hard, she managed to push herself to her feet and walk over to the front door, which she quickly unlocked and opened. Just as Emily had said, Bosco was sitting right outside her door, his back against the wall.
Hearing the door open he quickly stood up. "Hi."
She gazed at him silently for a moment, then moved forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
Bosco didn't hesitate, and slid his arms around her waist. "Did you know I was here?"
"Yeah. I just found out."
He rubbed her back in a circular motion. "Yeah? How's that?"
Faith was silent for a moment. "Emily," she whispered, her voice barely audible. If it had been anyone else in the world, she wouldn't have shared that information. But if there was one person that she trusted completely, it was Bosco.
He pulled back slightly so he could look at her. His eyes were questioning, but they were also filled with warmth. He didn't think she was crazy for saying that Emily had told her, however he was a little curious.
"I don't know how...but she was here, Boz." Her voice was soft.
Bosco smiled softly. "Well...it is Christmas."
"Yeah. I guess it is." She wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "Merry Christmas."
He pulled her into a hug. "Merry Christmas, Faith," he whispered softly.
She closed her eyes, hugging him back. "Will you stay with me the rest of the night?" she whispered back. "I don't wanna be alone."
"Of course I'll stay."
Faith reached down until her fingers were linked through his. She led him inside, closing the door behind them. "Thanks for...not leavin'." Her voice was soft.
"I was gonna get you to talk to me somehow," he told her with a grin.
A small smile touched her lips. "Boz?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think...could you hold me for awhile?" she whispered.
He nodded his head, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Sure, Faith."
Instead of leading him over to the sofa, she led him down the hall and into her bedroom. She pulled the covers back and crawled into bed, scooting over to make room for him.
Bosco dumped his jacket on the floor, took off his shoes, and looked at her a little uncertainly before climbing into bed with her.
Faith shifted closer to him, resting her head on his chest as she let her eyes drift shut. She'd held her daughter only a few short moments ago. Now she needed someone to hold her.
* * *
Bobby smiled as he gazed down at Kim and Jimmy as they knocked on Maggie Davis' front door, followed closely by Sully, who looked uncomfortable, though he was indeed there. "Well, looks like we pulled it off," he commented to Tatiana, who smiled softly.
"I want John to be happy. He is good man."
"Yeah. Yeah, he is," Bobby agreed, nodding.
Taylor watched as Doc walked toward the house with a casserole dish in his hand. "Hey look at that." She pointed. "He even brought food with him."
Bobby raised his eyebrows. "You really are a miracle worker. You might have to get a promotion."
She chuckled softly, and swatted Bobby on the arm.
Emily wrapped her arms around her stomach as she scanned the scene below. She bit her lip as she watched all the others make their way to Maggie's home. "Does anyone see my mom," she asked in a whisper.
Tatiana glanced around. "There. She is with Bosco." She pointed.
A smile spread across the young girl's face as she watched her mother and Bosco approach the house. The two of them were holding hands, and her mother was smiling softly. "Hey Bobby?"
"Yeah, Em?" He glanced over at her.
"Thanks, for showing us we could help them."
Bobby offered her a smile. "You're welcome."
She turned her attention back to her mother and Bosco.
Alex watched as Maggie Davis welcomed everyone into her home, and ushered them all toward the dining room where she'd laid out Christmas dinner for her extended family. She smiled and looked at her friends. "So whaddya say we sit down, and have Christmas dinner with them?" Taylor nodded toward the table that was set up behind them.
"I would like that," Tatiana said softly, gazing at her husband.
"Yeah. I think that's a nice idea." Bobby nodded his agreement as well.
Emily smiled softly. "We get to do this every Christmas, right?"
He patted her shoulder lightly. "Definitely. That's what Christmas is all about."
Calling All Angels-Jane Siberry
Santa Maria, Santa Teresa, Santa Anna, Santa Susannah
Santa Cecilia, Santa Copelia, Santa Dominica, Mary Angelica
Frater Achad, Frater Pietro, Julianus, Petronella
Santa, Santos, Miroslaw, Vladimir
And all the rest
A man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
And high above the church bells start to ring
And as the heaviness the body
Oh the heaviness settles in
Somewhere you can hear a mother sing
Then it`s one foot then the other
As you step out onto the road
How much weight? how much weight?
Then it`s how long? and how far?
And how many times before it`s too late?
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
Walk me through this one
Don`t leave me alone
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
We`re cryin` and we`re hurtin`
And we`re not sure why...
And every day you gaze upon the sunset
With such love and intensity
Why it`s...it`s almost as if
If you could only crack the code
Then you`d finally understand what this all means
But if you could...do you think you would
Trade it in
All the pain and suffering?
Ah, but then you`d miss
The beauty of the light upon this earth
And the sweetness of the leaving
Calling all angels
Calling all angels
Walk me through this one
Don`t leave me alone
Callin` all angels
Callin` all angels
We`re tryin`
We`re hopin`
We`re hurtin`
We`re lovin`
We`re cryin`
We`re callin`
`Cause we`re not sure how this goes
