xtremeroswellia

The site that the below comes from does what they call "five minute reviews" of each Smallville episode. This is from Aqua:

Lex: Clark, old buddy, old pal! What can I do for you?
Clark: I think we're still angry at each other, so you might want to rephrase that.
Lex: Grrr. Clark, me ol' matey, what you be doing here for?
Clark: Enemies, Lex. Not pirates.

And one from Fanatic:

Clark: Chloe, can I talk to you about my sex life?
Chloe: EWWWWWWWWW!
Clark: I haven't even started yet!
Chloe: I know, but EWWWWWWWW!
Clark: I wish Pete were still here.
Chloe: Trust me. His reaction would be the same.

And one from Reckoning:

Jor-El: You rang?
Clark: Yeah, don't take Lana's life, jerk!
Jor-El: Do I look like I care? Besides, I don't want her for a daughter-in-law.
Clark: Bring her back to life! PLEASE? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE?
Jor-El: Gah! Are you five? Okay, okay, I'll do a temporal fold if it'll shut you up.
Clark: (Heh. That always works on parents.)

This one from "Tomb" nearly killed me:

Clark: How do you feel, Chloe?
Chloe: Fine, now that there's blood in my body again.
Clark: Do you think we should tell the doctors about your mother's mental problems?
Chloe: My mother has mental problems? I thought she fled after the town turned on us because of the Lily Kane murder.
Clark: (through gritted teeth) Wrong show, Chloe.
Chloe: Oh! Right! My bad.

From Hypnotic:

Chloe: So, did you and Simone have sex?
Clark: Even though there was plenty of time and she could make me do anything, no! We did not! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Chloe: So have you and Lana got back together?
Clark: I thought about it but the audience keeps shouting "NO" at me.
Chloe: Clark, if you do this, you can't take it back. If you break up with her, you're broken up for good. The two of you might not even get back together until next season!

From "Fragile":

Chloe: This is so great! Lois will be Chief of Staff so I can essentially have a spy up at the Capitol!
Clark: So how's Lana?
Chloe: Look, Clark, I'm not going to be a spy for you. Because that'd be wrong.

*Breathes* Oh man. Too funny.

The link if you want to read all of them, they're quite humorous!
http://www.fiveminute.net/smallville/