Single Life Vs. Married Life. Part I.

[xtremeroswellia]

America has long been known as the society where the dream is to have a family with 2.5 kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence. But is that dream becoming obliterated?

Everywhere I go, people seem to be in pairs. And to many single people that's depressing because they're alone and want nothing more than to be with someone else 24/7.

To me? That's my nightmare.

That's right, folks. I like being single. A lot. Being married and having kids has never been my "American dream." Many people reading this are probably going "Oh you poor thing. You just haven't met the right guy."

Who's to say there IS a right guy? I'm sorry, I don't really buy into that whole one true love thing. If you do, that's fine, I'm not intending to offend. But it's just not something I've ever actually believed. Wanted to believe maybe, but like the idea of God, the concept is just something I can't quite believe in.

For about five minutes after my Goddaughter Rylee was born I wanted nothing more than to find a guy, have kids and buy a house.

Now the very thought makes me shudder. What's so great about being married, honestly? (Again, not trying to offend anyone! I have married friends and I love them very much!)

Okay, so you get tax deductions when you get married. Financially marriage can be nice, I suppose. But quite frankly, I'd rather just have my freedom and independence. If I wanna go see a movie by myself, I don't have to feel obligated to ask my spouse if he wants to come along because I don't have a spouse. I don't have to justify spending fifty bucks on books to anyone, I don't have to clean up after someone else instead of curling up and watching Titanic if I so choose.

I can go where I want, when I want, and do what I want without having to answer to anyone and I love it.

But what about companionship, you ask? There's nothing wrong with having a person in your life if that's what you choose. That aside, isn't that what friends are for? And what happened to being our own best friends anyway? I don't need someone else to take care of. I can do it fine all by myself, thank you.

So no, don't pity me or feel sorry for me. Because your dream may be marriage and children but mine? Consists of writing and travel and just being myself.

Comments

[tylergrrls.livejournal.com]

I think you should just be happy being whatever makes you happy. I swore I'd never get married. I did. I swore I would be having kids the minute I could. I didn't.

I live my life and make my choices based on what makes me happy, and try not to spend time saying, "I will never do _____" or "I will always do _____" because who knows what may happen in the future to change my mind. Closing off options in the future because I don't want them now seems silly to me.

And I guess I think that if you're marrying someone who is going to take away your freedom and independence, maybe you shouldn't be getting married at all.

-Bree

[xtremeroswellia.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm just tired of the "So when are you gonna settle down" and "why aren't you dating?" questions from everyone. It's not something that's important to me, and never has been and it gets old trying to explain that to people, you know? Like, it can't just be because I'm content being with myself, it must be because there's something *wrong* with me. *sighs*

[tylergrrls.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know! I do. I didn't really date people before the Hubby... didn't go on a single second date. Didn't enjoy it at all, and finally gave up on it all together because it just felt uncomfortable, and why would I do something just because other people expected it of me?

I guess I get more sad at people getting so determined to not give in to peer pressure that they give up on the possibility of things changing some day. It's nothing so trite as "meeting the right guy" though I guess it can sound like that sometimes. Mike is the right guy for me now... but he wasn't when I first met him, because it wasn't the right time. I wasn't in the right place. There's so much more to it than just compatability.

Marriage isn't the enemy of singleness, though. The enemy is people who think marriage is some sort of goal or status symbol, instead of a formal way of expressing the feeling, "I am happier with this person in my life than I am without them."

When I was single, I was tired of people asking me why I didn't want to date. Now that I'm married, I'm tired of people assuming I gave up something when I stopped being single. But then again, I think life is like that with all big decisions... people will always think you should choose what they chose.

Silly people.

-Bree